Hello lovely humans!
It’s been a minute since I’ve had a chance to post on here, but I’m hoping to be back to regularly scheduled posting in a few weeks. I don’t know about you, but these past few months have felt so topsy-turvy. Prior to this global pandemic, I really felt like I was gaining traction: things were falling into place. With my living situation, with work, with my personal life.
And then of course, the world was kind of put on hold. And suddenly we were all self-isolating. I have people in my life who are thriving with social distancing. They’re productive, they’re working hard–they’re really making the most of this time.
I am not that person. For me, self-isolating has brought up a lot of feelings, a lot of uncertainty, a lot of…sloth, honestly. Apathy. (There’s been a lot of Netflix.) It’s hard to have purpose or direction when it feels like your world has stopped. I miss humans. Like a lot.
Anyone else feeling this?
Thankfully, I’m now back at work, which is the reason I haven’t been posting: it’s been so busy! Which is actually such a blessing: it has me waking up at 6am again, getting ready, making a plan for the day. And boy oh boy, do I crave that. You know, for someone who is very fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants-and-hope-it-all-pans-out, it turns out I like a little structure! (Who knew?)
As I’ve been at working–doing a lot of baking, actually–it’s given me quite a bit of time to think (uh oh). And it’s really made me take a hard look at my life, to see what’s working and what’s not working.
Here’s what I’ve learned: I need to let go of this idea of having it all. I need to focus on slowing down.
I don’t know if this is a millennial thing, or a type A (type 3 Enneagram) thing, but it feels like ambition kind of runs my life. And that’s not always bad. It’s led me to have a very cool, creative job; to live in a city I love; to travel alone. I’m a goal setter. I think that’s usually a good thing.
But what this experience has taught me, is that I really don’t step back enough. I don’t really know if I always enjoy my life as much as I should, because I’m too caught up in The Next Big Thing. There are so many things I want to be doing–but I don’t have the time, energy or resources to do it all.
And what I’ve really been trying to grapple with lately, is how do I slow down?
How do I allow myself to be okay with the education I have now, the life I have now, the income I have now, the body I have now? How do I find activities that actually relax me, and feed me? All of my hobbies are things I can tie into my job. Which sometimes, feels exhausting because it feels like I’m always working. I’m always taking courses, certifications, workshops to improve my photography, my styling, my knowledge of nutrition. I’m always trying to learn and be better.
But when am I ever going to be enough? Of course I want to grow and evolve and gain experience. But I also want to sit with myself and be happy that at 28, I have a good skill set (maybe not expert level, but definitely sufficient), I have a great social network, and I have a life that I’m really proud of.
I want to enjoy this life I’ve built.
Okay Tish, So Whatcha Gonna Do About It?
Well, nothing.
…Wait? What?
Hear me out: I am putting a focus in finding pleasure in my life with things that have absolutely nothing to do with work, ambition or future success.
I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t reading a book about nutrition, a study for an article, or listening to a podcast about entrepreneurship or health. And none of these things are bad–because I actually quite enjoy these things.
But they can’t be everything. Because that’s not all I am–and definitely not all I aspire to be.
Currently, I’m in the process of moving, but my hope, is that once I’ve settled, I can really carve out space for self-care, for quiet, for enjoyment. I want to get back into cooking for myself. Not for the blog, not for recipe testing, not for work. Just for me. (It often surprises people how little I cook for myself. But when your job is cooking for others, it can feel exhausting to make yourself a meal.)
I want to read fiction.
I want to waste time. In the bath. Staring at the ceiling. Listening to music.
I want to slow down. I want to do nothing.
Don’t worry: I’ll still be posting. But my hopes is that you’ll see a lot more content centred around self-care, mindful living and simply enjoying life in all its messy uncertainty.
And with that in mind:
How Are You Slowing Down?
How are you finding time for the things that actually fuel you? The things, that, if you didn’t have to work, you would actually want to be doing?
If you, like me, have a creative job doing something you love, do you find you need separate hobbies to refill your cup?
Let me know, I’d love some insight into this.
OTHER POSTS YOU MIGHT LIKE
How To Self-Care During Self-Isolation
Thanks for letting me get a little personal with you. Let me know if you’d like to see more self-care content around slowing down, and finding time for things that nourish you. (Also, if you haven’t already, join my weekly newsletter for the latest in nutrition, mindfulness and products I’m loving!)
With love,
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