Today is my 28th birthday. Which seems crazy. It feels both old, and incredibly young. I’m one of the youngest in my friends group, so it always feels like I’m playing catch up. I’m the baby. And yet, I remember dreaming of being 25: surely by then I’d have my life together. I’d have it all figured out.
3 years later and I think I’m still waiting. I think that’s the point. You spend your whole life waiting for that feeling of adulthood to kick in, of having your shit together. But it never really does, because we’re human and constantly growing and learning. Plus how boring would life be if you had it all figured out by the time you were 30?
I do feel like I’ve learned a lot in these 28 years though–and I feel like I’ve been through a lot in these 28 months. So today, I thought I’d share some lessons I’ve learned. Some of the things that stuck, that propelled me forward.
So here we go: my 28th birthday + lessons I’ve learned
1. It doesn’t matter how prepared you are: bad things can still happen.
This one sucked to learn. If you know me at all, I’m a baby bit compulsive, a little bit of a worrier, and okay, when it comes to my health I can be a bit extra. While I may fly by the seat of my pants when it comes to travel, navigating on my own or booking tickets (trains, planes or automobiles), you’ve never meet someone so well-researched when it comes to health, work, living agreements and finances. But this year, more than once, I learned that while it’s important to be prepared as possible, you can never truly prepare for the events life will throw at you. Whether it was unexpected changes in my health, getting robbed or dealing with unexpected financial blows, life came hard this year.
2. But be prepared anyway.
And yet. Having a plan and a strategy in place offset a lot of the anxiety I could have faced. Don’t get me wrong, this year still saw a lot of anxiety (it wasn’t nearly as free-spirited as the year before had been!)–but I was able to navigate my way through some really tough situations by trying to be as educated as possible. You can’t ever predict what will happen in your life, but taking the time to come up with a plan can really offload a lot of stress when something (inevitably) does.
3. Keep Having Big Dreams
At 28, I feel like I’ve been able to cross off a lot of really cool things off my ‘dream life’ bucket list: moved to a major city, I went to culinary school, became a holistic nutritionist, worked full-time as a food stylist, fell in love (more than once), worked freelance doing photography, got paid to write about nutrition, bought all my own furniture for the first time, went to Spain, went to England (solo), worked on Dr. David’s Ludwig’s cookbook (a nutritionist dream!), landed a dream job and had the privilege (and freedom) to explore my sexuality.
And I feel like I haven’t even scratched the surface. There are so many things I want from life, and I don’t want to ever believe that it’s “too late”. No thank you. At 28, I still have a lot to do and I plan to dream big.
4. Health beyond the mirror
At 19, my idea of ‘health’ was whatever it took to stay thin (that meant smoking, coffee, a low-carb diet + binge drinking vodka-crans with sugar-free cranberry juice). I was just starting to get into health, but my main motivation was what I looked like.
At 28, I still care about what I look like (I’m human, what can you do?) but I’m motivated a lot more by my general health: will drinking make me feel sluggish and anxious tomorrow? Do I want to eat foods that will upset my stomach? I need to go to the gym to strengthen my spine. Alzheimer’s runs in my family: how can I take steps now?
It’s no longer just about my vanity: it’s about my quality of life.
5. Sex Appeal is a frame of mind
Maybe the reason I don’t feel the same need to workout for rock hard abs is because I tapped into a very important life lesson at 28: feeling sexy, feeling good in your skin, is a frame of mind. This year I went through many situations that challenged my perception of beauty (and my perception of myself). I got to see an x-ray of my spine (pictured below). I scratched my cornea and was banned from wearing contacts. I went through some other personal issues that really made insecure. Every time I thought, “I could not get less attractive”, the Universe was like, “we’ll see about that”.
And then I got over it. I realized that I would still love my body (no matter how much it really wanted to defy me this year) and so I stopped caring. I stopped letting my story be so wrapped up in a beauty standard that I can’t achieve. And it’s been really liberating. Despite everything, I think I’ve felt sexier and more attractive this year, than I ever have in the past. (That being said, my glasses are constantly filthy, so I’m counting down the days I can wear my contacts lenses again.)
RELATED: Why Being Thin Didn’t Help Me Love My Body
6. Skin Care Is More Important Than Makeup
Gone are the days of simply removing my makeup and hoping for the best. My skin is needier these days, and requires a lot more than expensive foundations and concealers. We’re talking good sleep, lots of water, a daily omega-3 and good skin care products. Where I used to spend hours looking at different eyeshadow palettes, now I find myself looking for good face masks and trying to remember to actually use them!
RELATED: My Favourite Beauty Face Products
7. Doing Less Is More Important
I love a good hustle. And I love, love, love over-scheduling myself with projects. But it turns out, you’ll never have enough hours in the day, and sometimes you’re just chasing goals for something to do. I’ve learnt there’s deep value in sitting down, thinking about what truly matters, and forgetting the rest. Do all of your goals actually matter to you? Instead can you take some time and go to a yoga class or have a bath? Enjoy life. You’ve already earned it.
In 2020, my focus is all about curating the life I want. It’s starting off a little rocky (go figure) but I’m trying to channel the things I actually want. I’m trying to hone in on what actually makes me happy.
So these are the lessons I’ve learned at 28. What do you think? Does any of it resonate? Any big lessons you’ve learned this year? Let me know in the comments, and if you haven’t already be sure to subscribe to my newsletter!
with love,
Leave a Comment