25 Things I’ve learned in 25 Years

 

Hello, hello!

Friday is my twenty-fifth birthday. (Friday the 13th, I might add. Is that lucky?) So I thought I’d compile a list of the things that I’ve learned over the years–through trial, error and many a good cry. 

Enjoy! 

25 things I’ve learned in 25 years

1. You are not your Instagram. 

   Life is messy, the lighting is crap, your nail polish is chipped, your college furniture is mismatched, and dinner is leftover shawarma and wine in a mug. It’s all good. 

2. You don’t have to know everything. 

   At twenty-five I really thought I’d have it all figured out: what I’m doing with my career, where I want to settle down, what I’m going to eat for breakfast the next day. But the truth is, I still have oh, so much to learn. I feel like I’m still only dabbling in my life, and right now, that’s okay. It doesn’t matter how old you are: you never know everything. 

3. But you know more than you think.

   Even though, yes, of course there’s so much I don’t know, I often don’t give myself enough credit for what I do know! Sometimes we forget how far we’ve come. I’m still green in the kitchen, but a few years ago, I could barely make a smoothie. Celebrate those milestones and don’t sell yourself short: your knowledge is valuable. 

4. Be a sponge. 

   Since I am still learning, I’ve really made it a goal to soak in as much as I can from everybody–even if I don’t think it’s something I’ll use down the road. Constant learning not only keeps our minds open and stimulates our brains, but it also helps us shape our lives. What do I like? What don’t I like? You learn these things by doing it and asking a ton of questions.

5. Stop apologizing (ladies, I’m looking at you.)

   This one is a biggie: women say sorry for everything. I say sorry when I need to get around someone who is blocking my way. I say sorry that someone else forgot something. Women do this–we’re taught to be people pleasers. But we do not need to apologize for things that aren’t actually our fault. So I’m starting to pay attention to how often I say sorry–and I’m cutting back.

6. Pay off your credit card at the end of the month. Like, every month. 

   Duh. But seriously, nothing makes me more uneasy than unnecessary debt. Having a zero dollar balance at the end of every month is such an awesome way to cut back on stress. 

7. Food is not good or bad. 

   My relationship with food was quite toxic as a teenager. And even when I first started healthier eating, I was so strict with what foods were “okay” and what foods weren’t. I’ve since learnt that while a healthy diet really does make a difference, a healthy attitude is what makes or breaks you. I feel much happier indulging in something with white sugar in it, knowing that this food does not define me, and I can eat something healthy at my next meal. 

8. Get naked more often (ahem, I mean your face).

   When you’re young(er) the idea of baring your face in public is just horrendous. But I find that now I really have no problem going makeup free on a day-to-day basis, and saving makeup for the times where I actual feel I need it. Don’t get me wrong, I love a well-made face as much as anyone, but I’ve learnt that your face is pretty well-made even au naturel.  (Also, it really does wonders for your complexion.)

9. It’s good to have a plan. 

   Having to-do lists and a calendar has been key in helping me control my anxiety. I love having a game plan for the day and for the week, and then a set of goals for my future. It gives me purpose and helps me figure out what areas of my life need focus. 

10. But you don’t have to stick to the letter. 

    That being said, some of my favourite things have happened outside of my plan. Meeting Allie for example, when I had to move back home unexpectedly, for example. I also had no idea when I went off to university, that I would find such a passion for holistic nutrition and healthy eating. So plan for the future–but don’t feel confined to those plans. 

11. It’s okay to feel disillusioned. 

    This is another big one that I’ve felt throughout my twenties. When I was nineteen, I was so optimistic about how the world worked: I was passionate, I was outspoken, I felt I knew how to make the world a better place. I had all these big ideas and I was a dreamer. Every issue was my issue: the environment, LGBT rights, sustainability. But the more I learned about these issues, the more I realized they were much deeper and complex than I had realized. It was a huge blow, and at twenty-two I felt like I was going through an existential crisis. The crazy thing is that feeling disillusioned actually made me a more well-rounded person: I became more understanding and compassionate, and I got off my soap box. So whenever I feel disenchanted or uncomfortable, I lean into it because it means that I’m reevaluating my understanding of the world, and I’m growing as a person. 

12. Treat yourself. 

    A hot bath, new undies, organic vegetables, a lazy morning, an early good night, some dark chocolate or a green smoothie–treat yourself often, out of love, without guilt. Because you’re freaking fabulous. 

13. Stop asking for power–own it instead.

    We respect people that take the lead and are sure of themselves, so don’t spend so much time trying to please everyone with wishy washy answers. Know what you want, and go for it. No one controls your life, but you.

14. Working out is no longer about burning calories.

    Instead of worrying about perfect abs and a lifted butt (which, don’t get me wrong, I still care about) exercise is about stress relief, feeling strong and capable, improving brain function and not feeling like uncooked spaghetti when I wake up. Exercise is no longer a vanity case or a punishment. It’s a form of self-care. 

15. Friday nights in are perfection. 

    Bed by 10pm? Yes please. 

16. You don’t always have to smile.

    Again, as women we feel this constant need to people please and always be friendly. And not to be rude, but fuck that. You don’t owe the world a positive attitude all the time. If someone is being rude or unfair or unkind, you don’t have to take it just to avoid stirring the pot. You are allowed to stand up for yourself, to be confrontational, and to sometimes, have a bad day just because. You are a human, not a Barbie. 

17. Learn to forgive yourself for your crappy moments (cause you’ll have more). 

    Trust me, you will. And that’s totally okay. Forgive yourself, and apologize when needed.

18. Community is key. 

    I have found so much happiness just by engaging in my community: volunteering with other nutritionists, working side jobs, trying new classes, going to meet ups and networking events. It is so affirming to surround yourself with positive, driven people. 

19. Invest in good quality shoes–you’ll never regret it.  

    Unless your dog eats them, that is. 

20. Insurance. 

    Renter’s insurance, health insurance, etc. These are luxuries when you first finish school and are living off minimum wage, but I promise they are necessities now. Go see your dentist and update your glasses prescription. 

21. If you don’t have time to read, you are not lesser than anyone else.

    I love to read, and I read a lot: articles, research studies, school textbooks, and blog posts. We have four large bookshelves stuffed with books in our apartment, and half of them are mine. I majored in English, with dreams of writing fiction. Books are a source of pure pleasure. And yet, if I read one novel a year, that’s a miracle. And if that novel isn’t Confessions of a Shopaholic, well, I wouldn’t know. I have no time, and when I do, there are so many other things vying for my attention. We romanticize reading books, but I think it’s totally fine if you don’t have time for it. It’s completely valid to spend your free time watching a Netflix documentary or an episode of Friends.   

22. First impressions count.  

    So make the effort to show up on time, look professional, be helpful and work hard. Show up as your best self. Stop wearing the jeans with the hole in the crotch. Here are some great tips on how to make a good impression! 

23. But not everyone’s opinion matters (to you). 

    Of course everyone matters, but not everyone’s opinion matters to you (and likewise yours won’t matter to others). There are lots of people who will barely know you, and write you off. Maybe they’re busy with their own lives or businesses, maybe they’re going through hard times, or maybe they’re just grumpy people. People might tell you your dreams are silly or unrealistic–I wish I hadn’t put so much stock into the opinions of people who in the big picture, didn’t matter and who weren’t passionate or interested in the same things as me. 

24. Negative thinking is a habit, not a necessity. 

    We know that the more we do something, the more the connections between neurons strengthen (“neurons that fire together wire together”). So the more we think negatively, the more we strengthen that habit in our brains, and the harder it is to break. The good news is that the same can be said for positive thinking! We can retrain our brains to think positively and to feel happier! How cool is that?

25. Drink water, often. 

    Every part of your body needs water: your skin, your blood, your brain. So drink up! 

 

What life lessons have you learned? Leave a comment down below, and make sure to subscribe to my newsletter!